My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Is Oprah even human
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
