i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
