Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
