So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
