i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
