If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
