let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
