Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
