During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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