Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
