Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
