There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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