hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
If I die, sorry about rent.
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