it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
