hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
