Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
