I met the friendliest cop last night
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
As shirtless as possible
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
