ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Never let your siblings swipe right.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
