I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize