You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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