I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
another moral hangover. fuck.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
