i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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