is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Randomize
