Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
