nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
