Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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