thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
