Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
