So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
