Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
