found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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