I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
accomplished twins. life is a go
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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