my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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