His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
