I wish I only lived at night.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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