sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
