If that was your dad, he is hot
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
