it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
