Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
