Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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