Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(352): View more from Florida

Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.

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(917): View more from New York City

I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.

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(801): View more from Utah

I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...

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(214): View more from Texas

Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.

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(620): View more from Kansas

Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.

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(239): View more from Florida

Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"

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(253): View more from Washington

Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.

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