is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
