all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
