Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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