shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
