i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
