guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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