A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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