he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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