Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
The police scanner is talking about you again....
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
