Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
