So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
