I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
