Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
