I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
