try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
