just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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