i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
