After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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