You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
