S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize