"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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