I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Who died my cat blue again?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
