D3 body, D1 cock
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
